Starting Over

I get a real do-over. Not just one I fantasize about in my head, but a real, authentic, tangible, do-over.

I started pole dancing one year ago, on the 16th of August, starting my first level course at my pole studio.

The ensuing twelve months have a been completely unexpected, unpredictable, and not even hinted at on my radar.

If you want to know more in detail just scroll through previous blog posts, but a basic run down consists of:

Joining, level one, loving it, training, graduating, performance night. Level two, loving it more, more training, pole at home, lap dance classes, more training, casual classes, more training, performance night. Pain, training, more pain, ignoring it and training, unable to lift self to support body weight on the pole, hopeless doctor, clever physio, torn ligaments in both elbows, six months rehab, no poling, no training. The sadness arrives, frustrated, eating too much, daughter has surgery, son has a serious crisis, external family breakdown. Given a great massage therapist, psychologist for the family, feeling hopeful, start returning to light courses, floor work. Daughter okay, son smiling again, all clear to re-start training. The Studio's first birthday special - do two level courses and second one greatly reduced. Clever me thinks hmmmm, perfect. Enrols, starts a good diet, mentally ready, physically all good to go, so let's get back into it: better, healthier, stronger, and wiser.

Phew!

And here I am.

I am back at the beginning. I'm doing Level One and Level Two concurrently during this six week term.

My way of thinking is I already know the tricks and moves expected of my body and my muscles, I just need to strengthen them and draw on their memory to execute the moves. This first week I think I have done okay all things considered.

The hardest part of this week was being the 'sorta' newbie. My old crowd are now progressing beyond Level Seven, contemplating Graduate Programs, participating in Pole Games, and just generally being the awesome pole people they are.

Then there's me, I'm back at the start and with a whole bunch of people I don't know at all.

So there was the usual 'new kid' anxiety that comes up when you're on your own and meeting a new group. I was never one of those people who brought a friend along, I just did it cause I wanted to for myself. And being on my own I could be selfish if I wanted to stay longer, linger, chat, or just skip it if I wasn't well without letting anyone else down.

My level one group is lovely. I'm the only repeat in it, the others are first timers. When we went around and did a brief intro I told them I was an oldie and that my original group were the 'big' girls (as in the experienced strong polers we all look to in awe, like the seniors in school when we're juniors). So I told them they were now my new crew, and they will be.

Our Level One routine is the same one I did when I originally did it a year ago. I think this is great because I can concentrate and focus executing the basic tricks and moves really well, yet the choreography is already implanted in my brain. Nice huh!

My level two group I met last night, I again knew none of them. One lady is a repeat from last term taking up the special offer and using it to perfect and really nail the moves and tricks. Good for her I say. The others have progressed on from the previous Level One course. This routine is a different one to the one I learnt. It has the same tricks and climbs but a different choreography and a different song.

Just between you and me, I really like this one more than the other one, it's prettier, flowy-er, and seems more contemporary dance like. I love it and I'm really getting into it and can't wait until it's done and we make it more dance like. I just love that kind of stuff.

So I'm back.

Today my muscles ache in such a familiar way that I can't help smile. I've done the hard part and met my class mates and my instructors, two strong ladies who I already know I'm going to learn heaps from.

I feel like I'm a newbie again, but with an experienced head.

I'm definitely wiser for this past year, and I know it will make me a better, stronger, fitter, and lasting pole dancer in the long run.

Because I've already had a disjointed, interrupted, and stalled year of poling, I can unequivocally declare pole dancing is wholly and solely for me and it is something I definitely want to improve at over time. I will take it slower. I will nail each level to my satisfaction before I progress up, and I know I will get there because I want this.

I'm in it for the long haul and because I'm not going anywhere I'm gonna totally enjoy the ride, the climb, the spin, the tricks, the combos, the performances, and the competitions.

If you don't know me, let me introduce myself: I'm Deb, I'm a blogger, and I'm a pole dancer.